$20 per Week Food Challenge

I've set several goals for the new year. You might call them resolutions, but I think they're more than that. And they were mostly things that I was working on before the new year arrived, so I don't think I can call them New Years Resolutions. This time I've written down about four things that I really want to accomplish this year along with why I want to accomplish this things and how I might make the accomplishment actually happen. I'm going to try to keep a bit of a journal on here about some of the goals to 1) show my progress and 2) hold myself accountable without actually blabbing about it to a bunch of people ... at least yet. I know that hardly no one checks this blog or even knows it exists, so I can write fairly freely. I still realize that it is available for whomever wishes to view it, but know that hardly anyone besides myself will. Freedom and accountability all wrapped up into one.

I suppose a theme in my life right now is overcoming fear. I've been pondering that a lot lately and thinking about why we don't do the things we want to do, as in going after our dreams. A lot of it boils down to the fact that we're afraid. I've decided to make 2010 about pegging the real things that I'm afraid of and working to overcome them. This goes hand in hand with our relationship with God. I plan to work this into a Bible study for the summer, so I'll write more specifically on the fear thing in a bit. First though, I want to concentrate on one of my goals and that's saving money.

I'll be honest that 2009 sucked when it came to business and making money. It also sucked in saving money. I had to pull from the savings that I was building in 2008. Come to think of it 2009 sucked in a lot of ways, but I suppose it could have been worse. Anyway, after looking at the numbers for 2009, (I hate looking at the numbers, by the way, another fear I have to overcome) I realized that a change was in order. The first change I need to make is to get more work in to generate more income. 2010 has already started with more projects and I feel a greater confidence in my work right now. I think that's another area where fear has hurt me. I've been afraid to take on lots of projects and stretch myself. That fear is fortunately fading.

The second thing that I realized I needed to do was save more money. Looking over receipts and spending patterns, it's obvious that most of my expenses go to food. I'm not a big spender anyway, but where I do spend, I can probably cut a few costs. I want to save more money first of all to be responsible and have something for a rainy day. I've realized that deep down one of the fears that is stopping me from all this is that if I do have enough to fully support myself, I'll feel as if I'm truly alone. Right now I get help from my parents. They are graciously there to catch me when I fall. There's this subconscious part of me that really enjoys being dependent. I've always been dependent and it's a safe place for me. Even though the fear that once I become independent, I'll no longer have anyone but myself is totally untrue and illogical, I've been believing the lie for sometime on a level that I didn't even know existed. Now that I can call the fear out for what it is, I can progress.

My other reason for wanting to save more money is so I can give more money. I want to help others. The first step in doing that is to help myself less. Honestly, my spending shows that I'm selfish. This needs to stop. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not against ever doing something nice for yourself, but I feel that I do nice things for myself perhaps a little too much. This is why I'm trying to implement the $20/week challenge for myself.

My goal is to try to spend only $20/week on food for myself. If I can manage, I would like for it to be $20/week total, but I know sometimes that is unrealistic. Items like toilet paper, paper towels, shampoo, soap, toothpaste, etc. can add up too, but they are necessities. When I go to get my oil changed, I know it will cost more than $20, so that will blow the plan for that week anyway, which is why I'm going to focus on food first. I'm also trying to lose some weight and get healthier, so cutting back on food spending might also help me cut back on food. Most of us eat way more than we need to anyway.

I must confess that this month I have pretty much already failed at this challenge. I'm forcing myself to look at the numbers though (already overcoming fears!) and evaluate why I'm failing. My biggest pitfall is friends. They want me to hang out with them, so that usually means going out to eat together. I've eaten out four times this month and it has all been due to social activities. One was for a birthday party, another was a going away party. One a friend called and just wanted to grab lunch and I hadn't seen him in a long time, so I agreed. The other was a Sunday School outing. Looking at the receipts though, I think I still could have gone out and cut some costs. This is just where discipline is going to have to take place.

Now, looking at the grocery department, I am actually right on the goal. So far a little under $40 has been spent on food from the grocery store. I'm looking into this web site called Southern Savers, created by a midlands lady, to see if I can work on cutting the grocery bill down even more with coupons and on sale deals. I'll let you know how that works when I figure out how to use it.

I think these "projects" I'm performing on myself will teach me more about who I am and show me more of who I want to be. I'll continue to analyze as we go, but will stop here for now. Next up will be a post on fear in general.